I have heard Jonah & The Whale size tales from people who had abandoned their social media accounts and television for different lengths of time, and the quality and amount of life that ensued. Great tales, but how could I ever go without my 24/7 access to my favorite train wreck, soapbox, social media shit show?!?
I always give mad props to people with iron willpower and dedication. Simply put, I’m just not that great with follow through when it pertains to outside of work thangs that are directly related to, well, me… So I said, “Self, you and me are about to try a little experiment in self perseverance.”
Day 1: I found myself randomly picking up my phone throughout the day only to reveal that no one other than “Regina” at my car insurance company had called to talk about life insurance options, or that my teenager needed to be picked up by 6:30 PM. You see, when you deactivate your Facebook account and turn off notifications from others, you ain’t gettin’ nothing. Nada, zilch, ZERO. By the end of day 1 though, I’m staring at a massively reduced pile of laundry, so at least something more than the norm was accomplished.
Days 2 & 3: My trips to the bathroom at work are less frequent, because I can’t scroll my social media accounts while I do my business in my remote office with the porcelain thrown. Instead I actually have to think about …. whatever random thought pops into my head. Taco Tuesday, theatre money dues, Christmas cards, my dog needs more treats for her arthritis. I live a very colorful life, folks.
Day 4: I start brainstorming a list of all the hobbies I’ve been wanting to get into or back at, and now I might actually have or make time to do one of them. Soap making, Swear word cross-stitch, or Blogging again. These 3 made the top of my list. That night, I made a trip to Hobby Lobby, and went ham on the 30% off sale of embroidery thread.
Day 5: I started browsing through all of the options on Etsy of cross-stitch patterns that could hopefully be turned into something that could one day adorn the art wall in my living room. Cute & feminine yet punchy patterns that donned phrases on them like, “Wash your damn hands,” framed with little pink and yellow flowers. I decided that would be my next project for the bathroom and opted for a “Golden Girls” themed pattern instead. Allison picked one comprised entirely of 40 different sets of boobs in all shapes, colors, and sizes. I have always encouraged and promoted artistic individuality in my household, so boobs it is.
Days 6 & 7- I did have to pull up a YOUTUBE video to get the basics down of threading my needle, basic stitching, changing thread, knots, etc. Once I watched that a few times on a frequent start/stop mode, I was stitching like a professional. At least, in my mind. I couldn’t stop until I finished Blanche’s hair, which was multi-tonal and kind of a pain at first when swapping out thread colors. This does get easier as you get more comfortable with stitching, because if you are anything like me, you will start to deviate from the rules and create your own method that produces the same result.
I sat at my kitchen table threading like a boss. I finished Blanche’s hair and decided to start on her pants. 83 stitches later and that bitch gots pants!!! 🙂
In the days after the first week, I continued working on my pattern until yesterday when my teen spilt coffee all over Blanche’s pants. The irony y’all. I can’t make this stuff up. That’s ok though, this is gonna tell a story so much better than any social media post ever could. I urge everyone to take a week off, heck maybe 2.
Have you ever taken time off of social media? I wanna hear about it!
Until next time,
-Bethany
The Lazy Lipstick Life 